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DSCN2039.jpg
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Date:
04/08/2005
And so, let me introduce Willard, named after the Dilithium Express wielding but publicity shy "Willard Phule" from the Robert Asprin "Phule's Company" series of books. He's going to be our guide through the unnerving experience of leaving your thirtees behind and becoming a card-carrying member of the "life begins at 40" club. Here he is relaxing in the Servisair Lounge in Manchester waiting for his flight to Zurich.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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It was a small plane (an Embraer 145 for the sad crowd watching..) but luckily we ended up with a Bassinet position for Wilard....
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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...however being an "unticketed passenger" he didn't get a meal, sadly! He sure does look hungry...
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Now that Willard has arrived in Zurich he can relax and enjoy the new Swiss First Class lounge, where the most difficult decision you will be called upon to make during your stay is whether to go for brut or rose' Tattinger champagne. As you can see, Willard went for the rose' - wise chap!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Quite a long layover, and Willard is obviously getting tired - most of the other occupants of the lounge (including a suitably incognito looking Prince William) have left, as ours is one of the last long-hauls to leave Zurich tonight. (I figured that trying to get a picture of Willard with the prince may have been pushing my luck, and I'm sure I'd have found myself having a long chat with the two gentlemen with large hearing aids and suspicious bulges in their jackets - not my chosen entertainment for my birthday)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And we finally made it on to our Swiss A340, where Willard can sit on the "Ottoman" companion seat for take-off.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And of course the whole idea of a companion seat is that you can dine with a friend - this time Willard can have whatever he wants - after all, he IS flying First class!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And after a long flight (and a good nights sleep, thanks to Swiss's flat beds) Willard arrives at the Sheraton Towers in Tsim Sha Tsui in Hong Kong, and checks in.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, being a seasoned traveller, Willard makes straight for the Towers lounge, and enjoys the late afternoon view over the harbour with a glass of bubbly.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And for every gentleman of style and refinement, a trip to Hong Kong means a visit to ones tailor. Willard visits Ash and Luke Samtani with some other people, we're not sure who THEY are....
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And a brisk walk back down Nathan Road allows Willard to sample the unique atmosphere of Hong Kong at night, including innumerable offers of "fake rolex", "cheap tailor", "copy DVD" and so on, but Willard just grins and bears it, and takes in the unique atmosphere of Hong Kong by night.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Just in time to get back to the Towers lounge for one last glass of fizz, and enjoy the nightly laser light show that the Hong Kong skyscrapers put on in the never ending contest to be the most prominent night-time feature of the Hong Kong skyline.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And so, looking for a relatively light but special meal, Willard goes across the road to the Peninsula, and dines at "Spring Moon", their world reknowned Cantoneese restaurant.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, on this special night, the eve of his 40th Birthday, Willard returns to the Sheraton and settles down in the top floor "Sky Lounge" to await midnight with the view, and a bottle of, arguably the best champagne in the world, Krug Grande Cuvee', for company.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Willard is of the opinion that there would be many, many, worse places in the world to ring in the big FOUR-OH....
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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But of course, he ends up back in his room before the bottle can be finished (good champagne is to be savoured, not rushed, after all!), and what do we find waiting for us but a Birthday cake! (and not the last one, as you will see...)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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The morning after the night before, and Willard finds that his fur now extends all over his tounge, and he has a sudden need to ingest a large quantity of liquids, to get ready for this afternoons flight to Bangkok.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And so, after the fortification that only two pots of strong tea can bring, Willard checks in for his Cathay Pacific flight to Bangkok, and makes yet another friend.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And flying Cathay from Hong Kong can only mean one thing - a visit to the famous "Wing" arguably the best, and certainly the most oppulent, First Class lounge in the world. Here he is checking in at the front desk.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And so, ticket in hand, and hangover in abeyance, Willard can relax and enjoy a few glasses of champagne on his birthday.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Cathay call this "The Long Bar" (no kidding, I hear you cry), and Willard can't resist visiting, even though, as a First Class passenger, he doesn't really need to go to the bar, as the staff will happily bring him anything he could possibly want, right to his seat.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And even though he will get a 5 course meal on the plane, Willard, being a bit of a gourmet, has to visit "The Haven" a full service restaurant that Cathay have built into their lounge for their First class passengers. It may look like a buffet, but it isn't. The catering is done by the Peninsula, and chefs are continually cooking food fresh, to ensure that guests have a choice of everything on the menu, freshly cooked and waiting for them.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, on the advice of his friends Ken and Pat (who were the last passengers to board their flight to Bangkok a few years ago, after being rushed from one end of the terminal to the other with "Absolutely last and final call and this time we're not kidding" announcements ringing in their ears!) Willard moves to Cathay's OTHER lounge, "the Pier" which is at the far end of the terminal, where the Bangkok flight leaves from today. By sheer coincidence, Willard chooses a seat directly in front of the very Airbus A330 that will very soon whisk him to Don Muang airport in Bangkok.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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The Pier offers "Dayrooms" to First class passengers, where they can lie back, relax in front of a Plasma TV, and be waited on hand and foot as they snooze before continuing their journey. How can Willard refuse?
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And so (not late for boarding THIS time) Willard can relax into his middle seats on this Cathay Pacific flight.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, as you can imagine, Willard was a bit of a "hit" with the First Class cabin crew, who knew a discerning bear of real character when they saw one!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Safety First! Willard straps himself into his seat during the flight, after all, turbulence is no laughing matter, and though Willard is getting to be a "Frequent Flyer", he'd rather not be flying round the cabin if the Captain hits some clear air turbulence at 35,000 feet!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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A birthday cake, birthday card signed by the crew, and chocolates, Willard is feeling an exceptionally lucky bar today! (and for those who are counting, yes, that will make the second birthday cake...)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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After arriving at the Sheraton Grande Sukhimvit in the centre of Bangkok and checking into his suite, Willard can't wait to get out to the "Sala" on the 3rd floor and hit the Jacuzzi!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Finding this boat, Willard suddenly finds himself having an "Apocalypse Now" style flashback. "Bangkok - S***, I'm still only in Bangkok...... I asked them for a Contract, and, for my sins, they gave me one - sent it up like room service, and I'd never ask them for another...."
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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After pulling himself together, Willard decides to stay on the Sala to eat, as he has been smelling the aroma from the barbecue they are having for the last few hours, so he tucks into a cold Singha beer and a few helpings from the Barbie.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And after that Willard retires to the "Library" - where they have some of the best live Jazz in Bangkok. Every night musicians flown in by the hotel from all over the world play Jazz for the assembled guests.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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....And, after providing Willard with his "special birthday cocktail" the waitresses dissapear for a few moments only to reappear singing happy Birthday, with yet another Birthday cake! (For those keeping score, yes, that makes three!)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, on getting back to the room, what do we find? ANOTHER birthday cake! If this keeps up, Willard may be travelling cargo on the flight home! (Scoring update - four birthday cakes folks, and we ain't done yet!)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And the next morning Willard can enjoy the view of Bangkok out of his window, with the new fountains in the river just visible.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And another day, another First class flight (life is hard for a jet-set bear, isn't it?) Here is Willard in the Cathay Pacific First class lounge in Bangkok, waiting for the flight that will take him to Singapore. Notice that he, like his travelling companions, has chosen NOT to take advantage of the range of alcoholic beverages the lounge offers, as all of the Champagne over the last 48 hours seems to be reacting with the increasingly large backlog of (very nice!) Birthday cake in his stomach to form something that seems to be behaving uncannily like ready-mix concrete....
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And so, onto Willard's flight to SIngapore, on a Cathay Pacific Boeing 747-400 (i.e. a "Jumbo Jet"). Even though this is a flight scheduled for less than two hours, Willard is pleased to find that Cathay's First Class Lunch menu nevertheless still includes smoked salmon and caviar, and all of a sudden his appetite (and taste for Champagne!) unaccountably returns...
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, after being picked up by his chauffeur-driven Mercedes, Willard arrives in his Suite at the Oriental, SIngapore, only to find another bottle of Champagne, together with Jasmine tea, handmade chocolates and a Birthday card (courtesy of the Centurion travel team at American Express) are all waiting for him. All of a sudden, being 40 isn't looking so bad, but with all of this cake and champagne, the chances of seeing 41 are looking decidedly iffy...
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Of course, like all true gentlemen, Willard has a "flunkey" to do the hard work for him - He isn't called "Beeker" and CERTAINLY isn't a "Gentleman's Gentleman"!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, as Willard goes up to the Club lounge at the Oreintal, he finds that the staff in the lounge has presented him with Birthday cake number five! It's bear-ley believable!
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Willard especially likes the view from the six scenic lifts inside the Atrium of the Oriental - The view as the fountains and marble of the ground floor receeds away from you is breathtaking.
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And after a long day, Willard curls up to sleep, and dream of ANYTHING but chocolate cake!
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On a quick tour round the Funan IT mall in Singapore, Willard finds some like-minded friends.
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Unfortunately, The Raffles hotel was full the week Willard wanted to stay, so their range of prestige transport (including this Bentley) was not available to him.
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However, you don't have to be a guest to roam the courtyards and walkways of he Raffles hotel. I'm, not sure if I could actually put up with being a guest at a "tourist attraction" anyway!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, if you have just turned 40, no-one can blame you for being a tourist. Willard makes straight for the "Long Bar" at the Raffles hotel, to have the traditional Singapore Sling cocktail. The staff at the Long Bar have seen so many tourists, doing so many strange things, that this is one of the few places where Willard did not generate a single raised eyebrow from the staff.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And after finishing a few Slings, Willard looks distinctly fuzzy.....
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And so we say goodbye to the Long Bar, thinking that, in some ways, the Cathay Pacific version in Chep Lap Kok Airport is boh longer, and more stylish. (But not as historic, obviously!)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And in the evening, Willard ventures out for some Sushi - ignoring the warnings of his friend Ken, who spent 3 days in hospital back home after his last encounter with a Sushi bar in Singapore! This place, in the newly renovated Marina Mall, was excellent, we have to say. (Important safety tip, when buying Sushi outside Japan, pay great attention to how long the food hangs around after preperation. If you see the same tired salmon nigri going around the conveyor time and again - DO NOT EAT IT, unless you like hospital food)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And on the walk back, Willard found yet more new friends in the back of a Mercedes in the Oriental car park.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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After a few restful nights, Willard feels safe to face the "Executive Champagne Breakfast" that is offered in the Club Lounge at the Oriental Singapore.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And it's important to keep in touch with the business back home. Willard uses the WiFi network in the lounge for a few VoIP calls via his SIPphone.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And this evening, it's a trip to the Singapore Zoo "Night Safari", and, of course, a few libations in the East lodge whilst resting half way through the tour.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And Willard is always willing to help out the local charities, who were offering the opportunity to be photographed with some of the denziens of the Night Safari in return for a modest donation. (Side note, the staff really DID NOT BELIEVE that we only wanted Willard in the picture!)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And here is Willard with Chewey, the Albino Burmese Python. We were a little worried that this may have turned into a picture of a bear-shaped lump INSIDE Chewey!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And here is WIllard starting his tour around Chinatown in Singapore, in the gardens around Amoy Street.
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And after a walk through the stalls and shops in Chinatown, Willard relaxes with a bottle of the local Tiger beer and watches the world go by!
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And, as hunger gets the better of us, we get tempted by the offer of Dim Sum (or Tim Sum?) just by the Chinatown MRT station.
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Willard has just walked the length of Boat Quay, evaluating the various offerings from the numerous restaurants.... He'll have to make a decision soon!
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And it's time for Chilli Crab and Roast Duck! A huge meal, (does that crab look familiar?) but great food!
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And Willard finally has to check out of the Oriental Club, where the staff make Singapore Airlines Stewardesses look decidedly "plain"!
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Time to go! Off to Changi Airport for the flight back to Hong Kong....
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Sadly, when we arrived, the BA first class lounge (which, as a Oneworld First passenger, Willard is eminently entitled to use) is closed, so he relaxes for an hour in the Business Class lounge.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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Finally! Willard makes it into the BA First Class lounge, a much more refined environment for a bear of his obvious qualities! (Willard thinks that BA should NOT hide all of the wine and Champagne until the BA passengers arrive, though, as this is a bit of a cheat, after all Cathay allow BA pax full use of the Wing in Hong Kong!)
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And for those of you who have visited the BA/Quantas Singapore lounge, the waterfalls are now dry, giving Willard a nice perch from which to watch the world go by!
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"Peel me a grape!"
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And, after a huge meal on this 3 hour flight on a Cathay Pacific 747, Willard is in need of a little rest, and so reclines his seat into a bed and takes a well earned rest...
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And so, back to Hong Kong, and back to the Sheraton Towers, where Willard finds another scenic lift, this time with a panoramic view of the harbour as it whisks him up to the Towers Check-In.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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And, settling down in the Towers Lounge for a glass of bubbly, Willard finds that the ever efficient staff in the towers have used his time in Bangkok and Singapore to ensure that some specialist reading material has been provided for him in the Lounge!
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And it's off round the corner to the Spring Deer restaurant (a very hard to find place on Mody road up a nondescript flight of stairs) where they specialise in Bejingese rather than the more prevalent Cantoneese or Chi Chow cusine that defines most chinese food in Hong Kong. This restaurant might not look that inviting (especially from the outside!) but it is chock full of local Hong Kong residents (and more than the odd tourist) who obviously know their onions.
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Oh No! Four Oh! - Willard Bear's excellent Birthday Adventure
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...And this is the speciality that you see getting wheeled past to half of the tables at peak times: genuine Peking Duck, with all the trimmings! It only comes in one size - HUGE - but it's worth it, and feeds four easily - two adults plus a bear makes it a very large meal!
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And so, another breakfast at the top of the Sheraton Towers, taking in the view of the bay.
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And since the weather is a little better, Willard has decided to spend some time lounging in the Jacuzzi's that are part of the rooftop pool area at the Sheraton.
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And, a woodland bear at heart, Willard can hide in the bushes and take in the even more breathtaking view from the top of the Sheraton.
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...And the Towering Peninsula nextdoor rises far above the Sheraton, and provides the local Helipad for ultra quick (and ultra expensive) transfers from the Airport.
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Ahhh, lounging by the pool, with a cocktail, this is the life for a bear in the prime of his life. The sun even poked through the clouds, but it doesn't bother Willard with his fur to protect him. (His human companions on the other hand, both managed to get burned somewhat, much to the merriment of various locals, amused that ANYONE could manage to get sunburnt in Hong Kong in April!)
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....And so, we've now said goodbye to the Sheraton, and moved across the bay to Hong Kong Island, to stay at one of the most renowned hotels in the world, the Mandarin Oriental. Much to Willard's surprise, when we checked in, he found that he and the Mandarin have something in common - they're both celebrating their 40th birthday this year, making this a very appropriate choice of hotel indeed!
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And as we arrive in our suite, it seems only fair to reflect on the huge quantity of luggage that Willard and his companions have amassed!
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Willard is especially impressed with the Bathroom in the Mandarin Suite, as they have thoughtfully provided a Willard-sized bath, in addition to the human-sized one!
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And today we're off to Stanley on a double-decker bus! Willard enjoys the view from the top deck as we wind up and down the road around the mountains to the other side of Hong Kong island.
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And when two double deckers meet on these tight roads, it's a VERY tight squeeze indeed!
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Willard takes a rest whilst looking around the labyrinth that is Stanley Market - part tourist trap, part flea-market, part fine art fair, Stanley Market is a fascinating place to look around for bargains!
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And, as night falls, we look out over Stanley bay as we consider our meal options before we return to Central.
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Another fun double decker ride back home for Willard, this time through the night-time streets of Wan-Chai.
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And Willard is especially excited by one purchase from the Market.... His name is Chinese!
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....But it's been a long day for a small bear, so it's time to snuggle down in bed and sleep....
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And after a restful sleep, Willard starts the day with breakfast at the Mandarin Cafe, where you can look out of the window and watch the world go by...
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"And mad dogs and english bears go out in the midday (out in the midday) out in the midday sun!" We took Willard to see the "Noonday Gun" in Causeway bay, as immortalised by Noel Coward in the song I've just hideously mangled above. (the lyrics of which ring strangely true as both of Willards human companions scratch away at sunburnt shoulders)
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Fire one!
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And after the walk to and from the Gun (via the underpass provided by the Excelsior hotel) and the wind-swept wait for the firing at 12:00, we retire to the bar at a nearby hotel for an early afternoon drink - A glass of KIlkenny?! in Hong Kong?
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Willard isn't quite sure what to make of this new friend he found in the events hall at the SOGO department store... (Seriously, any mind that comes up with the idea of a cuddly, stuffed, bed-bug, is not merely twisted, but actually sprained!)
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And, still bargain-hunting, Willard looks around the Temple street night market. Full of bargains, dubious and otherwise, great fun, but this is "Caveat Emptor" city! (And we had to take these pictures quickly, lest someone sell Willard whilst we were sorting out the exposure!)
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...And ties! More ties than the human mind can comfortably imagine! If you like your ties in silk, and in bulk, this is the place to go! At HKD 100 for 5 (or 6, or 7, or however good your negotiation skills are) you can wear 'em once and throw them away!
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And, after a quick ride under the harbour, Willard settles down in the Hunan Garden in Central for a dangerously hot and spicy meal of Hunan specialities. If you think that a Vindaloo is a bit tame and mild, this may well be a worthwhile stop whilst in Hong Kong.
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And, still the archetypal tourist, Willard takes the "Star Ferry" across the Hong Kong harbour.
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Great view as you travel over on the ferry (top deck, of course, Willard is stilll a "First Class" Bear).
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And Willard can't wait to dock at The Hong Kong Island side for today's travels...
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Of course, the Ferry isn't the only form of public transport in Hong Kong - you can take the MTR, which is an ultra efficient (and usually ultra crowded!) underground system.
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Or you can go back 100 years and take the tram! Again the top deck gives a fun perspecitve of the varied sights of Hong Kong Island.
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And once back in the Mandarin, Willard visits the Chinnery Bar, where gentlemen bears used to smoke cigars and select from the huge range of single malt whiskies. (They let lady bears in too, now!)
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And today (our last day in Hong Kong, as we travel this evening) we are taking the tram up Victoria peak.
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It's a long way down once you get to the top!
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But a great view from the top (even though most of the peak tower is currently closed for renovations, alas...)
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Where's Willard?
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Hong Kong really is a beautiful city when seen from above.
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And, after taking in the view, we retire to the local american diner, and Willard orders this huge mug of beer for himself.
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....But alas that may have been a little too much for a little bear, and Willard takes a nap...
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But once we're down from the Peak, a bracing ride on the open-top double decker bus back to the Star Ferry terminal wakes Willard up again!
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And so, checked out of the Mandarin, checked in for our flight (sort of, in-town check-in for Swiss seems a little limited compared to what other airlines offer in Hong Kong) we're off back to Chep Lap Kok airport on the Airport Express for our flight back to Zurich.
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And, of course, we're back at the First Class entrance of the Wing, which Swiss have wisely contracted as the lounge for their First Class passengers.
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We've given ourselves a bit of time in the airport, to let us shop, update the Website, and enjoy the hospitality of the Wing, so Willard tucks into the Dinner offerings at the Haven, just to whet his appetite for the flight home.
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And if the fur is a bit too Furry, Cathay offer the opportunity to check into a "Cabana" and relax in a hot bath whilst wating for your flight.
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And then Willard opts to go out onto the patio of his Cabana and stretch out on the lounger by the stream.
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And Willard is back on a Swiss International A340, on his way to Zurich.
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Willard sips champagne whilst considering the options that the menu offers.
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But after the meal, Willard is starting to get a little sleepy - "Mommy, can I go to bed now?"
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....of course you can Willard, snuggle down and sweet dreams, we'll be back in Europe before you know it.
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And so, after a good night's sleep, we find ourselves back in the First Class lounge in Zurich. This now seems to be Willard's favourite seat. I'm sure that pile of Chocolates was larger last time I looked..!
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And it's finally (sadly!) the last leg of our flight, Zurich - Manchester on a Swiss Embraer jet. Willard has his same "Bassinet position" in the bulkhead seat, but, as you can see, Swiss have presented him with a new Friend, lest he become lonely!
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And so Willard and his new friend look out of the window, as he considers the events and highlights of the last few weeks, as his trip finally comes to an end.
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"..And I paid for the whole trip on Mr. Underhills American Express Card - Want the number?" (With apologies to "Fletch!") Fin.

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